Monday, August 27, 2007

Life & Politics

Lots of news today:

Gonzales resigns! I'm accepting entries for best one-liner related to this news. So far, the best has been at Daily Kos: Gonzales does not remember resigning. "I have no memory of having submitted such a letter or of having any conversation with the President about anything at all," Mr. Gonzales replied. Or this quote found at the onion from joe schmo on the street: "Congrats, Dirk Kempthorne! You're now my favorite current cabinet member!"

Switching tracks:

Khubz is sick. She woke up Friday with a slight fever and has puked each day since. Scully is taking her to the dr. today because I just can't get puked on one more day in a row. Nights have been really hard. Last night she went to sleep right away but got up to join us in bed around midnight. I'd only gotten to bed myself at 11. She nursed & squawked and, well, you know how that goes.

Despite all that, we had a really nice weekend (pretty much.) We got tons done on Saturday morning, had a great time with friends Sunday morning (they even forgave us for not having orange juice--i daresay I would have held a grudge). The afternoons were a little trying. The evenings were difficult. And it's all okay, right?

Anyway, I hope Scully & Khubz have an okay time of it today. We're supposed to leave for Texas on Thursday night, if Khubz is feeling better.

In other news, I had a short conversation with a coworker this morning about transracial/transnational adoption. The question hinged on whether or not babies had a culturally specific identity. Would the white adoptive parents only have to "deal" with culture in terms of people's racism directed at their brown child? Do they need to do more than teach their child to deflect people's assumptions? Is there something that might make that child inherently Guatemalan or chinese or romanian? Yes, I think so.

I should say that I think adoption in general is fraught with ethical dilemmas. x 10 for transracial/transnational adoption. Without judgement to the adoptive parents and certainly without judgement to the birth mom. If you've been with me for any amount of time you know that I think the fertility industry is fraught with major ethical dilemmas and it didn't stop me from (figuratively and literally) opening my legs to them.

"This is an impossible problem." my coworker said. But for the parents to just shrug off this "impossible problem" that only transfers it to the child, it doesn't resolve it.

So at some point in the conversation I said, "It's not just that the kid is going to have to deal with racism. That's not the sum of her racial identity. Being adopted from Guatemala by white american parents is part of her story. Just like the donor is part of Khubz's story."

It just came out. I didn't mean to say it and I hadn't thought about it quite like that until I said it. And the donor is part of her story. What that means will be up to her. It is a fact of her existence and a fact of our family. It is not a tragedy (just as adoption and abortion are not tragedies--given real consent and choice.) It is part of what brought her to us/us to her.

It is another complexity that deserves our conscious attention and deliberate gratitude.

Well, hell. (sigh) I'll add that to the list.

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