Apples & Oranges

What's your decision making process? Mine is usually something like this:

• Come upon the decision
  
• Contact many good women to talk through emotional aspects, consequences, costs, ethics and any other elements that answer the eternal question "what does it mean?"


• Vacillate


• Recontact those same good women for additional insights they may have had in the 10 minutes we were off the phone


• Relay the conversations I've had with each of the good women to the other good women


• Make a decision. Vacillate. Make a different decision. Change my mind again (maybe twice.)


• Announce my decision but request grace from the listener for subsequent vacillating


• Act on my decision while worrying

So motherhood has changed my decision making process somewhat. It's all really the same steps but the steps can happen in any order and the background is an overwhelming amount of anxiety. I really have to find a better way to cope.

We got a call from a daycare center. There's an opening and we're on their waiting list.

It is a block away from our house. A block. We know several parents that take their kids there and all highly recommend it. Good parents. Parents who parent the way I want to parent.

It is a center so there's no casual t.v. or wacky fundy christian radio on in the background. There's a schedule with activities like art, storytime, sign language, regular nap times. The classrooms are divided by age so Khubz wouldn't be in there with 5 year olds who play a different kind of game than she does.

But it's a center so it's not like she's at someone's house. It's an institution, right? A system. Plus we don't know them. We know Trish. And she loves Khubz. Loves her. And Khubz is all love back. And Trish doesn't mind if we're running 10 minutes late. She does evening daycare if I'm traveling & Scully is in class late. She's totally flexible and wonderful about our crazy schedules.

How do you make a decision like this?

And then there are the things that I know should not factor in to our decision making process but that I know already do creep in to my assessment of plus/minus: The daycare center is only one block away from our house. It is $200/month more than what we're currently paying. I don't want to hurt Trish's feelings.

I almost feel like Scully & I have already made our decision and we're just waiting to solidify it. We're going to go meet the lead teacher tomorrow and take another tour of the center. They call everyone on the waiting list and whoever brings in the deposit check first is the one who gets the slot. So there's one way to resolve my endless vacillating. Stay tuned.