Showing posts with label utterly fabulous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label utterly fabulous. Show all posts

Monday, September 5, 2011

bliss

We have just finished getting the kids in bed.


Khubz had her birthday party today. Fairies. It was awesome.

A beautiful day in the park
hide handmade fairies in the woods
build and decorate your own fairy houses
line up in front of the pinata that khubz decorated herself
frolic on the playground in the sunshine
get your sparkle on with glitter on your eyes
gaze at the tia-lila-made clay fairy on the cupcake
excellent friends
marvelous family
explore the world of a woodland fairy

kind of day.

Total bliss.

I love my children.
I love my family and community and this day and moment forever and ever.

I love I love I love
this feeling of bliss
satisfaction
accomplishment
and love.

I love I love I love
watching a gaggle of cousins and friends race across the park green
the joyous study of possibility in the tall grasses
tromping across the bridge
the stand of mommies and mamas and tias and friends all watching
and watching out for all
these dazzling children

today was love
in glittering
sparkling
glorious
motion

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Thumper 2.0


In twenty four hours our beloved Thumper will be two years old.


Have I told you what he's up to?


He is a total dancing queen. We listened to "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee" about 149 times between TX and iowa. Other favorites are ABCD (sung on his OWN, no thank you, mommy), Jungle Book music, Dan Zanes, Eidelwies (sung as sweet lalo) and Elmo's song. He taps his toes but really loves to swing his hips and dash his arms about.


"abyater?" is "maybe later?" he can take a "no" to almost anything as long as he also gets a "maybe later." Of course, then he follows up. "aternap?" Yes, baby. After nap.


He loves a mess. Art is a fine byproduct. Or bread. Or nothing. But the mess. The mess, itself, is the thing. (btw, check this out for some Thumper in action pics.)

He loves bath time and naked time and cuddle time and dinner time. He is possessive about everything (as he frequently has to scrap to keep what is his.) He is unendingly sweet and frequently bonkers.

We are doing a train theme for his birthday party next week.

He has got blue, yellow and red. Other colors are still confusing.
There's lots of stuff that I did, unthinkingly, with Khubz that I need to remember to do with him. Like finger plays, "where is thumbkin?" all that stuff.


He seeks Khubz out for guidance. "how can I get to the cookies on the counter?" and they collaborate. He doesn't want to go to bed without her. I remember seeing the kinship between Noise and Funk, how they looked to eachother as a reference point for home. Thumper and Khubz have that now. It fills me with warmth.

When we were packing up the van in texas Scully and I were dragging suitcases through the living room and out the front door. Thumper grabs Scully's laptop and drags it along (sized like a suitcase to him) saying "I gotit! I got it!" waving away anyone in his path and then hollering, "I'm coming!!"

He pet the horse in Texas and it shook its head at him, razzing its lips and delighting him to no end. When we came upon the grasshopper carcass I offered it to each of the children. Tito (6 yo cousin) declined. Khubz held it and pet it and asked if it was "real" and had been alive. She speculated as to its death. Thumper took it in his palm and closed his hand around it, smiling broadly with the satisfying crunch! He was thrilled.
He is so big and still he fell asleep in grandma's arms today for nap. In the midst of chaos. Children running around, presents on the ground kind of chaos. He cuddled up, nestled in and fell asleep. He is my grand, two year old boy.
I love him. Fiercely.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

5 things

that I am proud of.


Khubz:
1. She is extremely polite. I know 4 year olds are necessarily "considerate" but I think she generally cares about my feelings. She knows that tone is important. "Please" and "thank you" are regulars with her. She was "snack friend" for preschool and upon picking her up the very first thing she told me was, "Mommy--everybody sure liked the oatmeal cake! Even Vinny!"

2. She is impressed with herself and she enjoys letting people know that she is impressed. Case in point? After visiting the science center where a woman was impressed that Khubz boldly pet a snake, Khubz announced loudly everywhere she went "and I pet a snake and was NOT afraid!"

3. She loves reading. She just loves being in the company of books. We often go in to kiss her goodnight and find that she has snuggled up with a book to fall asleep with. She also mouths the words as you read out loud--even if she doesn't know the book. She will repeat it after you in a whisper. Her teacher suggested she is trying to memorize the book for when she reads it to herself later. I think she's right.

4. She sees destruction as a form of construction. For example, pulling all of the pillows off of the couch=creation of a space ship or tunnel or building.

5. She has finally stopped trying to climb the christmas tree. Thank god.

Thumper:
1. He loves to count. He doesn't associate it with a number of objects but he enjoys the pattern of "one, 'oo, 'ree, 'our, 'ivef, SIXXX, 'even, eight, 'ine"

2. He is working very hard of curbing his biting. We have teething toys all over the house and whenever he seems wound up or tired or at a loss he bites down on the "chewy." It is not easy. He really enjoys the sensation of biting down on soft, pillowy flesh. But the teething toys are helping and he is really trying.

3. He asserts himself. Into Khubz's play, into the mommies' laps, into the mix. He declares loudly "bigkidd!" and dismisses the idea that he is a second class citizen. He is ready for the world--didn't you get the memo?

4. He loves reading. At the end of a quiet night, after bath, Khubz and Thumper and I spread books out in a 180 degree arc around us on the floor. Then we steadily make our way through the "reading party." And Thumper loves to pick the next book, point out key turns in the plot, turn the pages and show me which bunny or dog or snowflake on the page is him.

5. He tells us when he poops. Not always. 90% of the time. That's pretty good. He still dashes away after making his announcement. But I still appreciate the heads up.


Scully:
1. She took three days off for her birthday. Day one was get things done around the house. Day two was take me and the kiddos to the science center and out to lunch for a fantastic family day. And then she and I went out to dinner for some mommy time. It was a perfect day. Day three was alone time for her, dissertation time, down time, quiet time. Everybody had everything they needed without resentment, jealousy over time, frustration or feeling overwhelmed. It is really hard to create balance with precious and rare days off. Scully did this masterfully and we had one of the best weeks of our married lives.

2. My SJP friend is visiting this weekend and Scully has been all over the kids. SJP and I have had loads of grown up alone time. It is really nice.

3. She organizes the kids each weekend to clean the house. And not only do the kids actually get involved but the house actually gets clean.

4. There's been a lot of soul searching and reflection about the last two years since our big move. Introspection = super attractive quality in a mate.

5. She can parallel park that enormous truck of hers into any space imaginable and, strangely, it really works for me.

My own fine self:
1. I have worked very hard the last two years to make some local friends. It is quite intimidating to hand your number to some random woman and "hope" she likes me enough to meet up at a park. It feels a bit like high school in some ways. But I really have met some cool women. We are all still getting to know each other but I am making friends.

2. I am blogging. At least this post right now.

3. Every single day I read to the kids. Every single day we make some sort of art. Every single day we move our bodies at a park or play pals or dancing around to the fabulous tunes of Dan Zanes.

4. I am volunteering at the local domestic violence/sexual assault project. I don't hang out in the volunteer office but go out with crafts, or art or Uno cards or whatever to actually engage with people. When no one is around, I do the dishes or clean. My mantra is "there must be a purpose!" In other words, I am not volunteering to hang out in an office. I must create some sort of change even if that is just clearing away the dirty dishes.

5. I am listening to Democracy Now again. It makes me feel like a thinking person. It makes me think and question and grapple with questions of colonialism, power and voice. And I do believe I need to take more action on these issues but, frankly, I am happy to just be in the company of these questions again. They feel like old friends and I have missed them.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

snowy moments

Sometimes it really is idyllic.

The entire state of Iowa is sitting under 4 feet of snow. They closed the interstate. Even more amazing they closed the university! So Scully is home with us on a Wednesday--like a little present in the middle of the week.

We all had oatmeal this morning to warm up our bellies.

We painted salt-dough ornaments. Thumper kept trying to eat his so we just gave him a teething biscuit instead. All four of us around the table with paint and glitter and smeary, mushy teething biscuit.

And then we played. There were a few crashes (mostly Khubz and Thumper.) Thumper fell asleep for his morning nap. Scully and Khubz built a nest/fort/tent and then played connect four. In their version you just try and get your chips to the top. Now Scully and Khubz are coloring at the table.

And the snow keeps coming down and in this moment I hope it never stops.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

More WOW

45 minute shower.

(sorry earth--But if you add up all the days that I go unshowered or two-minute showered I think it'll even out.)

So WOW and DOUBLE WOW.

:* (kiss)

A clean, relaxed kiss for all but an extra-special, squeeky clean kiss for Scully.

wow.

It is noon.

I have just woken up.

The children are gone.
The house is clean.
The kitchen is clean.
Even the FRIDGE is clean.

I am alone in my house listening to an NPR playlist and (obviously) blogging.

I may have woken up in heaven.

This is good because last night was horrid.
Our drive back from Denver the night before was even more horrid.

While this might be an excellent time to actually blog stories I am going to go take a shower. A long, hot shower with the door closed (I usually shower with it open so I can keep an ear on the kids.) Crazy, I know. I may even lock bathroom door. Because I can.

Watch out!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Goin to the chapel and im gonna get married!!!!!!!!!

Unanimous ruling: Iowa marriage no longer limited to one man, one woman
REGISTER STAFF REPORTS • April 3, 2009

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090403/NEWS/90403010


The Iowa Supreme Court this morning upheld a Polk County judge’s 2007 ruling that marriage should not be limited to one man and one woman.The ruling, viewed nationally and at home as a victory for the gay rights movement and a setback for social conservatives, means Iowa’s 5,800 gay couples can legally marry in Iowa beginning April 24.There are no residency rules for marriage in Iowa, so the rule would apply to any couple who wanted to travel to Iowa.
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Shelly Wolfe and Melisa Keeton, who waited for word of the ruling outside the Polk County Recorder’s Office, immediately called their pastor anyway to make plans.“We’re going to make it legal,” Keeton, 31, of Des Moines said.Wolfe, 38, and Keeton, who is 21 weeks pregnant, went through a commitment ceremony two years ago. Their marriage certificate was among the 26 that were put on hold when Polk County Judge Robert Hanson’s decision to open the door for gay marriage was delayed until the high court could weigh in.Third state to allow same-sex marriagesToday’s decision makes Iowa the first Midwestern state, and the third in the country, to allow same-sex marriages. Lambda Legal, a gay rights group, financed the court battle and represented six couples who challenged Iowa’s 10-year-old ban on gay marriage.Supreme Court Justice Mark Cady, who wrote the unanimous decision, at one point invoked the court’s first-ever decision, in 1839, which struck down slavery laws 17 years before the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the right of a slave owner to treat a person as property.

Iowa’s gay marriage ban “is unconstitutional, because the county has been unable to identify a constitutionally adequate justification for excluding plaintiffs from the institution of civil marriage,” Cady wrote in the 69-page opinion that seemed to dismiss the concept of civil unions as an option for gay couples.“A new distinction based on sexual orientation would be equally suspect and difficult to square with the fundamental principles of equal protection embodied in our constitution,” Cady wrote.The ruling, however, also addressed what it called the “religious undercurrent propelling the same-sex marriage debate,” and said judges must remain outside the fray.

Some Iowa religions are strongly opposed to same-sex marriages, the justices noted, while some support the notion.“Our constitution does not permit any branch of government to resolve these types of religious debates and entrusts to courts the task of ensuring that government avoids them,” the opinion says.The ruling explicitly does not affect “the freedom of a religious organization to define marriage it solemnizes as unions between a man and a woman,” the justices stressed. The case, Varnum vs. Brien, involved couples who sued Polk County Recorder Timothy Brien in 2005 after his office denied them marriage licenses. Hanson sided with the couples last year but then suspended his decision pending a high court ruling.


Read the summary: Iowa Supreme Court's decision on same-sex marriage.Read the full opinion: Iowa Supreme Court's decision on same-sex marriage.


“We won! It is unanimous!” Camilla Taylor of Lambda Legal exclaimed when the ruling was announced. “Today the dream becomes reality … and Iowa constitution’s promise of equality is fulfilled. Iowans have never waited for others to do the right thing. Iowa took its place in the vanguard of the civil rights struggle, and we couldn’t be more proud to be part of this.”Gov. Chet Culver e-mailed a response to reporters that said: “The decision released this morning by Supreme Court addresses a complicated and emotional issue, one on which Iowans have strong views and opinions on both sides.

The next responsible step is to thoroughly review this decision, which I am doing with my legal counsel and the attorney general, before reacting to what it means for Iowa.”Richard Socarides, a former senior adviser to President Bill Clinton on gay civil rights, said today’s decision could mean as much to gay couples outside Iowa.“I think it’s significant because Iowa is considered a Midwest state in the mainstream of American thought,” Socarides, a senior political assistant for Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin in the early 1990s, said Thursday. “Unlike states on the coasts, there’s nothing more American than Iowa. As they say during the presidential caucuses, ‘As Iowa goes, so goes the nation.’”

have long argued that allowing gay marriage would erode the institution. Some Iowa lawmakers, mostly Republicans, attempted last year to launch a constitutional amendment to specifically prohibit same-sex marriage.Such a change would require approval in consecutive legislative sessions and a public vote, which means a ban could not be imposed until at least 2012, unless lawmakers take up the issue in the next few weeks. Leaders this week said they had no plans to do so.


Senate Republican Leader Paul McKinley, R-Chariton, nonetheless called for an immediate move to amend the constitution.“The decision made by the Iowa Supreme Court today to allow gay marriage in Iowa is disappointing on many levels,” he said. I believe marriage should only be between one man and one woman, and I am confident the majority of Iowans want traditional marriage to be legally recognized in this state. “Though the court has made their decision, I believe every Iowan should have a voice on this matter and that is why the Iowa Legislature should immediately act to pass a constitutional amendment that protects traditional marriage, keeps it as a sacred bond only between one man and one woman and gives every Iowan a chance to have their say through a vote of the people.”State Rep. Dave Heaton, R-Mount Pleasant, said he would support a constitutional amendment. However, he also believes lawmakers would have to work on parallel legislation that would grant civil unions or some sort of way to grant legal rights to same-sex couples.“I firmly believe marriage should be between a man and a women but at the same time, I believe we should address these issues,” Heaton said. “I would rather recognize a civil union than to have same-sex marriage.”


Diane Thacker’s eyes filled with tears as the ruling were read to an crowd opposed to gay marriage that had gathered on the north side of the judicial building.“Sadness,” she whispered.. “But I’m prayerful and hopeful that God’s word will stand.”Thacker said she joined to group “because I believe in the marriage vow. I can’t see it any other way.”Democratic State Sen. Matt McCoy of Des Moines, saw the decision a different way.“I’m off the wall. I’m very pleased to be an Iowan,” said McCoy, who is openly gay. Voices from outside the state quickly took sides. The Iowa Supreme Court’s Web site was deluged with more than 1.5 million visitors as of 11 a.m., court spokesman Steve Davis said..Doug Napier, a lawyer for the Alliance Defense Fund in Arizona, said the Iowa Supreme Court “stepped out of its proper role in interpreting the law.”Napier said the legislature should place a constitutional amendment on a statewide ballot to let Iowans decide.The Defense of Marriage Act “was simple, it was settled, and overwhelming supported by Iowans,” Napier said. “There was simply no legitimate reason for the court to redefine marriage.”Maggie Gallagher, president of the National Organization for Marriage, a New Jersey group, said “once again, the most undemocratic branch of government is being used to advance an agenda the majority of Americans reject.”“Marriage means a husband and wife. That’s not discrimination, that’s common sense,” she said in a press release. “Even in states like Vermont, where they are pushing this issue through legislatures, gay marriage advocates are totally unwilling to let the people decide these issues directly.”


Mark Kende, a constitutional law professor at Drake University, described the ruling as narrowly written and “very well reasoned,” and predicted it will have national, possibly international, influence. But it also could create new, inter-state legal battles, he said. Couples who flock to Iowa to marry may not have their marriage recognized in other states that prohibit same-sex marriage, he said.The decision also is limited to civil marriages performed in county buildings, he said.Meanwhile, Kate and Trish Varnum, whose surname will forever be attached to the historic decision, called it “a great day for Iowa.”At a press conference this morning, Kate Varnum said: “Good morning… and I’d like to introduce you to my fiancĂ©. Today I am proud to be a lifelong Iowan.”Trish Varnum added: “It’s been a wonderful adventure, and we’re looking forward to the next wonderful adventure — as a married couple in Iowa.”A Des Moines Register poll in 2008 of Iowa lawmakers showed that a majority of Iowa’s lawmakers —123 of 150 — said they believed marriage should only be between a man and a woman. It was unclear whether those lawmakers had enough votes to pass a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.Iowans have mixed feelings on the issueAn Iowa Poll in February 2008 showed that most Iowans believed marriage should be only between one man and one woman. However, the poll also showed that a majority of Iowa adults supported the creation of civil unions that would grant benefits to gay couples similar to those offered to heterosexuals in marriage.In the poll, 62 percent of Iowans said they believed marriage should be only between a man and a woman. Thirty-two percent said they believed same-sex marriages should be allowed, while 6 percent were unsure.Iowans were split, however, on whether the state constitution should be changed to ban gay marriages. More than half of Iowans who responded to the poll supported civil unions for same-sex couples. About four in 10 Iowans opposed civil unions, and 4 percent were unsure.


More reaction from elected officials, religious leaders Harkin, a Democrat, issued a written statement today that said: “my personal view has been that marriage is between a man and a woman, and I have voted in support of that concept. But I also fundamentally believe that same sex couples in a civil union should be entitled to all the basic legal protections and benefits of marriage.”“I know that this decision will be very hard for many to accept,” he added. “But I also know that it will provide many committed same sex couples and families important rights, as well as an important sense of recognition and belonging.”Religious leaders who support gay-marriage rights praised the ruling as an affirmation of equal rights for all Iowans.“The court’s ruling shows Iowa is a place that celebrates fairness and equality for all Iowans,” said Connie Ryan Terrell, executive director of the Interfaith Alliance of Iowa. “It upholds the spirit of Iowa’s constitution, which clearly states each of us has the right to equal protection and recognition under the law.”The Rev. Mark Stringer said he cried when he heard of the decision. Stringer performed the only legal same-sex marriage in Iowa when he officiated a ceremony for Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan in 2007.“It was such a sense of relief to me as someone who has cared about marriage equality,” Stringer said, adding that he is happy gay couple will have the same rights as he and his wife.“It’s really an astounding moment under our history,” he said. “What really excites me is that Iowa is the first in our area of the country. We are being a leader in civil rights, which will be part of our state’s history.” Polk County Attorney John Sarcone, whose office represented Brien, said has no plan to seek a new hearing on the case or appeal to the federal courts. Sarcone said the case involved “a substantial time and monetary commitment” for the county, although he did not know the dollar amount. Assistant County Attorney Roger Kuhle, who argued the case to the high court, traveled to England and Canada at county expense to take sworn statements, he said.

“This was never anything personal,” Sarcone said. “We have a responsibility to defend the recorder. We defended the statute, and we had a fair and full hearing in the district court and the supreme court. Everything was done with dignity.”

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Sometimes chiggers are worth it

Yes, this is easy to say when you're not the one scratching. But, really, an entire day divided up between two parks? Totally worth it. Even to the the itchy toddler. So Khubz has some chigger bites. Poor girl. Was she complaining about the park time? Nooooo. . .

Especially since the full day devoted to parks included two of her best friends, Sunkist and Root Beer. And what could make a glorious day in the park surrounded by friends even better for the mommy? An exhausted Khubz (who boycotted naptime) and then slept for 14 hours straight. I love my children and I really, really, really love them when they are asleep.

Thumper (or Smiles as I often call him) for his part enjoyed the first park with us from the comfort of the sling. The second park (where I suspect the chiggers lay in wait) he declined and spent the afternoon sprawled out on Scully.

We had such a good time! It meant that the mommies (BOTH of us!) got to watch an entire made-for-grown-ups movie with our friends. By the way, go rent Rachel Getting Married. But put in a stick of gum or something because it is gut wrenching and I had a headache from clenching my jaw the whole time. Really, really good. Honestly, I never pay attention to movies and this was riveting!

It was such a nice weekend. We grilled out. We frolicked. We relaxed. We laughed. The weekend was entirely wonderful--just like these friends.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

And then there were two

Thursday morning, while scrambling some eggs, I peed myself in the kitchen. But did I? Usually the "totally normal amount of accidental urine leakage for a second pregnancy" is accompanied by a response to stop the pee. I had no sensation of peeing or of trying to stop peeing. I was just wet on my thighs and underwear.

"I think my water just broke."

Scully looked at me blankly. I don't think it was disbelief. I think it was more in fear that this was another great labor pronouncement that would end in more disappointment, particularly for me. We would have to ride along together through the roller coaster of excited and panicky only to end up with irritation and disappointment.

The doctor says to go on in and have the nurses check me out. Khubz is dropped off at gramma's house, Scully & I buzz down to dsm to the hospital. One hour and a pelvic exam later it is determined that I have pissed myself while scrambling some eggs. See ya. Really the professional medical opinion? You pissed yourself.

Hold that thought, though.


In truth the nurse, Nancee, was very nice. She said things like, stop writing down all your contraction times. You're only making yourself crazy. When you double over or can't stop yourself from moaning--then write it down. That was freeing in a way. She also advised that I should try to "relax into the contraction" so it would actually have an impact on my cervix.


Still, I was extremely disappointed. I was no more dilated than I had been at the doctor's on Monday. It was now Thursday and I had spent all of Wednesday walking my ass off. All for nothing. Oh well. Scully and I left the hospital and stopped at the Mexican neighborhood where I ate roasted chilis in the hope that our bean would get inspired.


Later that night Khubz was tucked in bed, my mom called and I tearfully asked her to come over. Scully, Mom & I sat in the living room watching british drama (Foyle's war, of course) and I decided my "last meal" could really come at any point. It was time to begin the buffet.


I sat down to eat a mango. It may be the best mango I had ever eaten. It was perfectly ripe without being squishy. It was firm without being stringy or fibrous. It even peeled nicely. So I had some mango and was cajoled into walking around the house a bit between bites. Not that it was going to do me any good, right?


Five minutes of walking and I returned to my sweet tender mango. Oh, cherished mango, you are the only one who really understands me, I cooed to it while Mom & Scully asked if I shouldn't keep walking.


So I took another bite and there was this audible "pop" followed by a swoosh. I gasped and asked Mom & Scully if they'd heard it too. They hadn't heard the pop but the entire couch was now clearly wet. This was not accidental urine leakage. "My water just broke!" Scully grabs a towel and runs outside to start the car. My mom hops on the phone to rally the tribe. I sat on the couch wet and stunned.


Mom reported this to one of my sisters. "Her water just broke! Really! All over the couch. How does she feel? She looks a little bit in shock. And wet."


Scully bundles Khubz into Gramma's van. Khubz will stay at Gramma & Grampa's. We dropped Khubz off, picked up Tia Lila and off we went: Scully, me, Gramma and Tia Lila. The Bean moved his head at one point and everyone could hear another woosh of fluid dripping all over the passenger seat and onto the floor. Um. Sorry about that, Mom.

On the way to DSM my contractions were four, three, sometimes two minutes apart. At the hospital the admitting nurse asked if I was sure my water had broken and I informed her that I was and, actually, I was dripping all over her floor. Another sister, Tia Teefa met us at the hospital a bit later.


That was all about 9 o'clock at night. Five short hours later our son came screaming into the world. Screaming.


I know that I regularly complain about Khubz taking 52 hours to come into the world. That was a bit excessive, no? But five hours. Five hours was a whole different kind of hard.


I did use some pain meds this time. Something that starts with an F that they give you in an IV. I refer to this as my "shot of tequilla." It was nice for about 20 minutes. The only drawback was that ever after I could not open my eyes without getting dizzy and nauseous.


With Khubz, I did a lot of focusing away from pain by gazing and staring at Scully. Since I couldn't do that I squeezed the fuck out of her hand. I did not notice (it was reported to me later) that she took off her ring in fear that I would bend it. Since I couldn't see my mom or my sisters either I would periodically call out, "are you guys still here??" The nurses answered with a resounding, "YES! We are here! :) " No, not you--but don't you leave either!! I wanted to shout back.

The doctor still wasn't there. As the contractions mounted I informed everyone that I was "feeling a lot of pressure." That was not, apparently, enough to alarm them. " THIS BABY IS COMING! I HAVE TO PUSH!" I was at 10 centimeters. This is when the room filled up with nurses. The doctor still MIA.


The commandment came down: don't push! My feet were locked together to try and keep this baby inside. I needed my socks taken off because they were making my feet slip. Scully was momentarily released from my death grip to remove my socks. I saw a slight grimace as she pulled them off my feet. "I know, I know. My feet stink. I'm sorry, okay?!" Actually, it was that my socks were sopping wet with amniotic fluid. Way past stinky feet grimace.


Another urge to push. "Blow it away. Blow the pain away." Scully, just as we had practiced, was puffing and blowing. "You're taking all my air!!!" I shrieked at her. This was a replay from Khubz's birth. I heard some chuckling from the peanut gallery and began yelling "Don't laugh at me! You don't get to laugh at me!!" At another point I turned to Scully and told her, "Okay. I can't actually be here. I have to leave actually. I can't be here." Where is she planning to go? one of the nurses asked Scully. Anywhere but here, perhaps.


While I was resisting the urge to push, my mom and the sisters were resisting the urge to shout, "just push that baby out! you don't have to wait for that doctor!!" I should have, too. It felt like hours later and the doctor came. He walked in the door and started putting booties over his shoes. I don't care about your shoes! This baby is coming!


A few short pushes and our son literally ran out into the world.

Mashallah.



There are lots more stories, and many thanks for the congratulations and well wishes. The boychild is getting hungry so I'll write more later.



We are all doing well, though. Khubz is amazing even though this is a tough adjustment. Scully and I are doing much better figuring things out than we did the first time round. But stay patient with us. There's not a lot of sleep in casa de fruitbasket right now. But there are these wonderfully, bleary eyed moments of tenderness. Just take a look.



Tuesday, December 23, 2008

overcome

I am overcome by the amazing people we are surrounded by.

Do you have people like this?

Need someone to check in on your house? To pick up all the random things left at daycare? To clean and scrub your toddler's sticky handprints off the walls? To pack all the stuff in your house while you go out shopping on Mass street? To come with you shopping on Mass street and take your toddler to get icecream while you get your shopping done? Need someone to clean every inch of your new sublease including getting rid of someone else's dirt, dog hair and stale cigarette stench? Need someone to watch your toddler for three days straight so you can unpack and get set up? How about someone to stand in your living room while the movers move everything in during one of the worst icestorms ever? Even if you turn the heat off in the house because the door is standing open and you were raised by a maniacal father who constantly said "CLOSE the door!!" How about people who are willing to come by after all the stuff is gone and clean up the loose bits? Do you have someone that will feed you an incredible home cooked meal right so that your last memory of your town is cheesy, tomato-y, pasta-y goodness?

Do you know people like this???
I have people like this in my life and I am totally overcome by them.

Totally.

Things here are going well. Scully got iced in to Missouri on the way up to Iowa. The movers made it with all of our stuff and unloaded when it was -9 degrees outside. We had our first night in our new (albeit temporary) home last night and it went great.

Khubz walked in and said "Casa? Wow--Santa Claus!!"

More on that later.
Also in the story line up: My cafeteria-style labor plan (would you like a side of pitocin with that?)
Complete loathing for the US insurance industry.
Total adoration for the Iowa kiddos who have been exhausting Khubz in all the best ways.

We don't have Internet access and won't for a while but I'll try to do some updates while here at Gramma y Grampas.

Okay, gotta run after the girlchild.

love you

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cheater post

There is so much going on.
This is just not the time to write about it.

Instead how about some pics?

It has been a very good month for us.

Possibilities seem endless.



She may become a
Gardner or Archaeologist?

Puppy Dog or Furry?


Politician or Human Weather Vane?



Farmer or Corn Pool Olympian?


We'll all have to wait and see. . .

Monday, November 3, 2008

She did it!

Scully passed her orals!!!!

She is officially ABD (all but dissertation!)



Monday, October 27, 2008

Send everything you've got!

Calling all good vibes.

Please send them this way. Slightly north of here, actually. For the family as a whole.

We are not in crisis. Everything will be fine. Khubz is amazing (hamdillah) We've got the bean (hamdillah again), Scully passed comps (hamdillah, again & again.) No matter what happens next we're having an incredible journey.

But if you've got extra vibes please send them this way.

Monday, October 13, 2008

on fabulousness & then on whiteness

Oh there is a lot going on in the world. A couple updates on our end:

scully passed comps!!! This is such wonderful news. I am totally, totally proud of her. Of course, she is on to the next thing: preparing for the oral exams. The order goes like this: coursework, comprehensive written exams (comps), an oral exam, dissertation proposal, research for dissertation, writing, writing, writing, writing, writing. . .

She is amazing.

We had an incredible date on Saturday where we decided to ditch the play and simply talk to each other for 4 hours. It was an unspeakable luxury. I don't think our friend Michelle had a similarly wondrous evening. She was treated to a Khubz who is thoroughly TWO and that starts with T and that stands for traviesa (mischief)

Though there was pizza and Bob-the-Builder there was also jumping on the couch and a time-out and a screaming protest of bed time. All this was happening while Scully was sipping her Mint Mojito and I was surveying the endless cheesecake options. We had such a good time.

Michelle claims not to have been scared off and has promised to come for dinner this week. Good thing. Khubz woke up happy as a lark the day after our date and reported the evening had been a success. Pizza. Bob the Builder. And what was the best part? Khubz grinned as she answered: "Michelle holdyou"

On a decidedly different note, it seems we need another electoral speech on race.

**********************************
From McCain gets boos at GOP rally for defending Obama

"Increasingly angry, supporters of McCain and running mate Sarah Palin have responded at rallies with loud cries of "terrorist" and "traitor."
At one such rally earlier this week in New Mexico, McCain visibly winced when his mention of Obama's name was greeted by the shout of "terrorist," but the candidate said nothing about it and went on with his speech.
Supporters at the Minnesota town hall meeting pressed McCain to get even tougher on Obama.
But when one man said he was scared to raise his unborn child in a country that might be led by a President Obama, McCain disagreed.
"I have to tell you, he is a decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States," McCain said to boos and groans from his supporters.
"If you want a fight, we will fight," McCain said. "But we will be respectful. I admire Senator Obama and his accomplishments. . . . I don't mean that has to reduce your ferocity, I just mean to say you have to be respectful."

Later, another supporter told McCain, "I don't trust Obama.... He's an Arab."
McCain stood shaking his head as she spoke, then quickly took the microphone from her. "No, ma'am," he said. "He's a decent, family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with."


*****************************************

Okay, really? No, he's not an Arab. He's a decent, family man. I know this is no different than the "he's not muslim--look how much he loves his daughters" bullshit. I know none of this is new. But if McCain feels alarmed by the racism in his political base maybe it is time for him to host a speech on race in america.

Of course addressing race is Obama's job alone, right? He's the one who is "bringing" race & ethnicity into electoral politics, right? Because 200 years of white men were just a blank, neutral slate when it comes to race, RIGHT?

I am not saying anything new, I know. But does McCain/GOP have anything to say about race? Do white politicians have any responsibility for talking about race or more importantly, talking about whiteness??

" I don't trust Obama, he's an Arab." Attacking a Christian African-American politician by accusing him of being an Arab largely because of the Muslim roots to his name (and because you're supposed to cover up attacks at someone for "simply" being Black). . . This is not about definitions of Obama, or Arabs, or Muslims or Blacks. This is solidly about whiteness.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Caption Contest!

Scully has turned in a major, MASSIVE, life-changing project. Understandably, this means there's been some stress in the house. She turned it in yesterday with two minutes to spare. (I may have had something to do with this. She finished up her paper and asked me to email it to a friend for printing while she showered. I *may* have emailed an old draft accidentally. This was discovered when the friend, WHO SAVED OUR LIVES, called to report that the emailed copy had yellow highlighting all over it. We raced back to the house to resend. All this because there hadn't been enough drama, right?)

We both came home and broke into HOWLING SOBS.

All this is to say that I have nothing to contribute to the blogosphere except a caption contest. Another friend works at a religious hospital and gets emails with inspirational photos like this below. Um. . . Super Creepy, she says to me in an email. We can do better than that!

Got captions?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

randomness, eh?

First, great news--I felt the baby move last week! The bean has been swishing and kicking and rolling around ever since. Watermelon is especially appreciated.

Things at work are better. Busy. But better.

Khubz is incredible. Our friends "MMshel" (also known as "Meowmeow" or "Rainbow") and "Lawrly" were over for dinner last night. Khubz ran Michelle ragged while Scully and I watched Laurie cook dinner. I love having you two for dinner, I declared.

After dinner we chatted, Scully got out the bingo and puzzle cards, Khubz sang twinkle twinkle, gave hugs and "I love yous" as they were leaving. Once they left Khubz climbed on top of Scully looked up at me and said "I tired, mommy." Whew! I'm not gonna make her say it twice!

A quick bath, a brief fight over jammies, two short stories and no screaming even as I turned off the light and closed her door.

Scully cues up the next obligatory episode of X-files. I made it the first 7 minutes before passing out on the couch. Scully woke me up at the end, gave me a quick synopsis of the episode and got me up to bed.

Other thoughts are swirling around my head:

My Dad. Its all so hard but it's not one of those "it doesn't have to be this way." because it feels like it does have to be this way. He absolutely loves me, absolutely loves Khubz, cares about Scully and is kind and considerate to her. When he gets a present for MajPaj he always looks for a parrallel gift for Khubz. When Khubz was 6 weeks old my Dad came home bursting with excitement. He had found pillows that curve in an arc and were shaped like an elephant and a bunny. They curve into an arc just perfect for nuzzling. He was thrilled that he found these pillows for his two new grandbabies. He got matching shirts for Khubz and MajPaj that say "I make dirt look good."

He loves them both. He does not question Khubz's place in our family or in the world.
He has a lot more contact with MajPaj because he sees him every day. Every single day. And that does impact their relationship. MajPaj and Grandpa have inside jokes, rituals, favorite stories and code words.

Part of my struggle is to make sure I'm not projecting all the distance and difficulty and tension that I feel onto his relationship with Khubz. At the same time he does get to be hesitant and tentative in relation to me and Scully. That's fine. That's human. There are some hard dynamics and they make me sad but they are not his fault.

But all bets are off with Khubz. He does not get that grace when it comes to her. And it is fine for her to learn that there are different levels of intimacy and closeness. But it is not okay for her to wonder why, whether the root of this is about her proximity or her identity. So I guess that means I have to figure that out a bit more before I rant any more.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

awesome

A friend sent me this link.
Lovely!
Thanks Mick!


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wondering if

Things are still shitty around the fruit basket? Yes. Yes, actually they are.

And that conference call earlier in the week? It lasted TWO HOURS. I shit you not. TWO HOURS.

But it's not all shitty conference calls this week. There's also the report that will not go quietly into that good night. And there was an all day meeting yesterday where a completely different woman got so pissed off at me that she couldn't look me in the eyes. Not only that. She just couldn't look at me. At all. Even when we were talking to each other.

On the way back from that meeting I plowed into a bird. I was going 80 mph and he thought he was flying high enough over the interstate. Splat. Feathers, everything all over my windshield.

But it's all okay. Really. It's all totally okay.

Bean is great. Khubz won't stop talking. Scully asked me not to write about the things I'm praising her for right now. (wink) Also I'm off the progesterone which means I no longer leave oily stains of melted petroleum jelly on the couch. Yea! What's to kvetch about anyway?

There's lots of news that's not mine to tell. Really, except for the life-sucking black hole of current work-related activities, its pretty exciting around here lately.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

good news & getting through the day


look what i found while i was going through some old files, trying to get through the day.

khubz y ummkhubz


Wednesday, May 7, 2008