zombie battles, on the other hand, require friends

Yes, yes. It's true that everyone around me did better dealing with the impending zombie apocolypse than i.

that's okay.

i'll take it to mean that i have a more gentle soul or perhaps that my brains are so tasty that there would be no way for me to escape the brain-eating zombies.

except that it's hard to brag about your brain when you get something like this:

(sorry Mom!)