Oh, Fuck off, Christopher Hitchens. . .

Are you one of the people who are "uneasy about the systematic, massified cretinization of the major media"?

Why, yes. I was just saying to myself yesterday, if only we didn't have to deal with the systematic massified cretinization of the major media.

Well then, Christopher Hitchens has an article for you in Slate. He makes some good points like:

• it is impossible to criticize the media for it's hateful fawning of paris hilton without contributing to the pointless frenzy
• the news media should be ashamed because this is not news
• paris hilton is an additionally juicy target because people love to see the town whore go down in flames since the time of the Scarlet Letter
• the commentary/comedy-tary on paris hilton is chock full of misogyny along the lines of "here's a woman with more money than me and I really wanted to fuck her so bad and she thought she was better than me because she fucked every man but me but hahahahah! She's in jail so, fuck her!"

But those are four measly points in an endless dribble of an editorial. Fuck you, Christopher Hitchens, and you're such a wierdo!

• the "tearful child" you were sick about because she was being taken back to jail is 26. Years, not months.
• the "sobbing, helpless child" you feel so paternalistic towards is apparently enough of an adult woman that you watched the paris hilton pornography show. Even with your dismissal that it "was one of the least erotic such sequences [you] have ever seen" it's a good guess you were still getting off on it.
• actually, a dui is a big deal
• your concern about her privacy would have been much more genuine if you had not just talked about watching a film of her being fucked.
• she has access to billions of dollars and regularly cashes in on her celebrity. the fact that she was not poor to begin with *does* mean she has a meaningful choice about whether or not to sell her privacy to be on "the simple life."
• actually, the treatment she is receiving is qualitatively, quantitatively and morally different than child abuse, child pornography or lynchings. Thanks for minimizing, though.
• and, finally, as completely fucking stupid and embarrassing it is that this is getting coverage in the "news media". . . you, christopher, are not actually being oppressed by it. so fuck off.

What is with my reaction to this article?? I think I am especially annoyed that he seems to be wrapping himself in the mantel of feminism for the sole purpose of feeling superior at the same time that he compares her to a child (albeit a child he wanted to fuck or at least watch.) nice. Also, his use of rape metaphors and rape language all seems crafted only to impress himself. Me, I like direct language: fuck off.

Man, he irritates me.

If you truly are uneasy about the systematic, massified cretinization of the major media, watch this: