The Big Eight

You can all blame Veronica for my participation in this meme. Enjoy!

8 Things I am Passionate About

• My family: Scully, Khubz, my Iowa family, my Texas family, Missouri & Colorado family and family in a few more places besides

• Anti-racist parenting: Seeing all these ISMs play out in Khubz's world makes me think about people who challenge power all the while knowing that their children will be punnished for their transgressions at the same time knowing that their children's lives and possible lives depend on such transgressions.



• Being conscious of how we spend our money: Money is your values laid out in numbers, right? And sometimes this speaks well of the decisions we make and sometimes this speaks to the difficult options/practical realities we all face (are we back to talking about daycare again??)



• Encouraging broad & fluid ideas of gender: Yesterday Khubz went to daycare in overalls with a button down flannel shirt. "It's dress like a dyke day at daycare!" I proclaimed. "Wouldn't that be everyday?" Scully counters. Some folks misunderstand butch/femme as rigid roles but that's not what the dynamic is between me & Scully at all. Even though some things fall down that way (I do most of the cooking, she does most of the home-repair) lots of other things don't fit in those boxes at all (she does all of the cleaning/laundry and I forget important anniversaries.) I hope she learns there are a million way to be a woman or a man or both or something entirely different.



• Ending violence against women: This doesn't show up so much in my posts but it is definitely more than my day job. You'll just have to trust me on this one.



• Sharing food to build community: This has looked a lot different since Khubz has come along. In my pre-Khubz days I was known for doing "drive by fruitings" or spontaneous deliveries of fruit to friends' homes. Now it's much easier to have people come by but I try to always have something to share.

8 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

• Have more kids. Four would be nice but I'm not sure my fairly infertile body will support this goal. Stay tuned.



• Stay at home with Khubz and anyone else who comes to us and my sisters kids (all of this would be happening in Iowa, to complete the fantasy.)



• Learn Spanish. This better happen long, long before the "when I die" stage.



• Take Scully and the kid/s to some Araby country. I used to want to go to Algeria but I think Kuwait might be as close as I could get to showing them what I remember.



• Learn to make my own cheese. And yogurt. And pasta.



• Own property in the country that operates as a retreat site. It would be fully accessible (like wheelchair access on the playground, menus for people with diabetes or celliac diseas or low carbers, multilingual signage, all of that!) It would be affordable for everyone (low cost access for women raising kids & living in poverty or for non-profits--at least the ones that aren't shitty & oppressive.) And it would be sustainable for us & the world (local, organic and homegrown food; recycled building materials, slow growth to make the project low debt.) Tall order, but this is a wishlist (sort of) right??



• Write more poetry that make good performance pieces

Things I say often

• "Abre tu boca!" Usually when Khubz seizes upon a cheerio or pinto bean of unknown age or even better when she finds an all together unknown thing and stuffs it in her mouth.



• Inshallah, Hamdillah & Mashallah. 'Nuff said.



• "I love you." This has multiple meanings. Joyous: I love you! Thrilled: I LOVE YOU! Wrapping up a phone call: Okay, I love you.



• FUCK. Way, waaay too many meanings to detail in this humble post.
  
• "Donde esta tu lengua?" Khubz generally does a quick assessment to see how badly I want to impress the person before us. Anytime I seem too anxious to show her off she keeps her tongue firmly hidden behind her mouth, coyly kept closed.
  
• "Before you sit down. . . " or "While you're up will you. . ."



• "What is their fucking problem??" quickly followed by "Who the fuck do they think they are??"



• "Next time, I'm going to. . ." I don't need to elaborate on that one, do I?

8 Books I Have Read Recently

• The Memory Keeper's Daughter
• Little Quack
• The Hard Man by Penny Jordan (yes, yes, I am ashamed)
• Baby Palabras
• Conquest: Sexual Violence & American Indian Genocide
• The World of the Forsythes
• Good Woman: Poems by Lucille Clifton
• Tightwad Gazette

8 Songs I Could Listen To Over & Over

• Swan Dive by Ani Difranco
• Henna by Cameron Cartio
• Would You Harbor Me? by Sweet Honey in the Rock
• 18 Wheels by Trout Fishing in America
• Jig of Life by Kate Bush
• Almost any Dresden Doll song (thanks alot Rivolta)
• Prospero's Speech by Lorena McKennit
• Remember the Tinman by Tracy Chapman

8 Things that Attract me to Good Friends

• Kindness & a willingness to give me grace for all my imperfections/failures/bad days


• A world view that the world works and looks differently for different people


• Recognition that motherwork is real work (undervalued, joyous & crappy, life-changing, world-changing political work.)


• Willingness to challenge yourself & me & others around the ISMs we have all been bombarded with all our lives


• Love or at least respect for feminism while at the same time critiqing the white, middle-class lens that too much feminist theory suffers from.


• Curiosity, sarcasm & wit (in equal parts)


• Adoration of Khubz, of course!


• Authenticity, not in representing your designated group identity, but in actually being who you actually are.

8 Ways to Shake Up a Meme

• Take out the tagging of 8 other people--my track record on my last tags is not so good, you know what I mean?

• 8 Poets Everyone Should Check Out: Lucille Clifton, Audre Lorde, Pat Parker, Cherie Moraga, Kate Rushin, Mango Tribe, Essex Hemphill and me!

• 8 Things I Love About Blogging: It's gotten me writing again. I've met awesome people I never would have otherwise met. There are people I have met that I've gotten to know better and grown closer to through their blogs. I'd never actually keep up with a scrapbook on what Khubz is up to. It's given me something else to feel proud of. It is a public outlet for my fruit fetish. I don't have to feel guilty about not emailing out regular updates to family!

• 8 Fun Words that Feel Lovely in One's Mouth: Ankh. Pumpkin. Zipper. Pantriculation. Sigh. Knead. Starfruit. Flame.

• 8 Essential Items In Case of Emergency: Cell phone. Cheerios. Diaper. Wipes. Gel pen. Change for the soda machine. Keys. Kleenex.

• 8 Numbers that come before the number 8: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

• 8 Ways to screw with people who demand meme compliance: end your list of 8 things with a list of 7.