Friday, October 5, 2007

It happens, right?

Quick call in to clc to check on Khubz. She is fine, she is happy, she is healthy, she is enjoying herself, she is playing with toys, she had a good time going outside, she is safe and she is well-rested. What more could two mommies want?

"did you know that she loves mustard?"
"no. . ."
"she loves mustard! We had hotdogs today for lunch and. . . "
"Did Khubz eat hotdogs?"
"Oh, because I packed her lunch today and we don't eat hotdogs."

Lots and lots and lots of apologies from Kara, the lead daycare provider. She's really, really, really sorry and I really, really, really believe that it was just an honest mistake. She's got how many kids and they're hungry and it's chaos. I'm not mad at her but I am perturbed.

Now I'm not crazy. I don't fear that Khubz is going to suffer dire health consequences because she had a hotdog for lunch. I'm not worried that the pork she consumed will now preclude her from going to heaven. I am not terrified that she's had a hotdog and next she'll want to sing the star-spangled banner. So, please, know that I am not being ridiculous.

I am not turning in my notice at work so I can stay home with her. I am not looking for a new daycare. I am not designing a "no pig, please" t-shirt for Khubz to wear to daycare.

And since I am not flying off the handle I do think that means I get to rant about my f e e l i n g s . . .

The problem with all of this is that it represents the rub of my family against the majority. This is not the first conflict (duh) but it is one of the first where the primary point of impact is Khubz as opposed to me or Scully. And she is encountering this conflict in the absence of her mommies, in the absence of anyone who even knows there's any conflict at all. Because we represent the conflict and they are simply being the majority.

I don't want her eating hotdogs. Not because there is anything inherently destructive about one hotdog but because I want us, our family, her mommies, me & Scully to set the norm. They already set the norm with all of the rest of her daily environment: the music, the books, the rules, the language, the toys. And we have her in care there because we feel like their norm is generally compatible with what we want. We like their rules, their toys, their music. . .

But there is something about the way Khubz's world tastes.

It is wonderful to share food with other people & find out what their world tastes like. It's not a big deal that she ate a hotdog. I fully expect to delight her with funnel cake at the county fair and beef ribs at the rhythm & ribs festival. It is her everyday, her norm, her standard, her landscape. . . That's what I insist on keeping in family.

Please know that I am not hoping to keep Khubz in a bubble.
I am not delusional about all the dominant/crap I consume (just wait for the upcoming post on the library book sale.) I liked this whole rant better when it was punctuated by beautiful pictures of spices.

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