Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Please don't touch me

I need to start by saying, hamdillah, that we made it back safe and sound from texas. I should next tell you that we had a fabulous trip, Khubz and Thumper were appropriately adored, springtime in texas really is beautiful, we all had a very good time.

Now please stop touching me.

We left Tx at 6 pm. Thumper fell asleep about 7. Khubz informed us she wasn't going to sleep in her carseat and would instead "wait for her bed." That's fine. But your bed is 6 hours away in Kansas at a as-yet-unknown motel-6. Don't wait up.

It was pouring rain. People in OK City were driving like they did not love their lives or ours. Khubz was alternately belting out ABCD and sobbing. She was way overtired. She didn't like me periodically leaning over Thumper to nurse and abandoning her. She discovered how to yank on Scully's seat belt with her foot and didn't like being told to put! her! foot! down! Through her tears she would ask to hold my arm.

You know how this goes.

"Hold you arm, mommy?" said sobbingly. "You big arm?" "You HUUUUGE arm Mommy?" "Big,big,big arm??" She loves my arms. She loves arm fat. She loves how squishy I am. Good thing. But after hours of that, especially that spliced with screaming fits about whether she would or would not kick the seatbelt, I was ready to yell "Mama! She won't stop touching me!!!" It did not help that when I would edge away from Khubz, closer to Thumper he would actually begin to chew on me.

It is good to be home.

We also got to stop in Lawrence, did a drive-by squeeze with one of Khubz's (and our) very good friends. We also stopped at another friend's to meet their latest addition. He is completely squeezable, edible, addictive--sweet little man ready to curl up on you and grunt away. My friend and I did not get a chance to really talk (of course) and there are so many, many things I want to say. Things like: you helped me hold on after thumper was born and I am totally here to help you hold on. And like: You are right. It is too much. It is totally okay to just get through right now. And also like: This is the hardest part. This right here and everyone is at their worst because it is the hardest part and soon there will be some more sleep and soon there will be some very restorative smiles and there will still be plenty of veryveryvery hard but it will be buffered by these better moments. And also finally: I know these are all platitudes but I do believe they are true and I clung to them and you can hold them or discard them as you need to. But I am totally proud of you for being honest about what you are feeling and as always I am here for you, loving you my very dear friend.

So there is a lot to blog about--texas stories, emotional updates, kiddo updates, cheers and jeers. . . But there's been a noticeable absence of fruit here lately as well as very few posts that don't talk about me washing poop out of elmo underwear. So I'm going to try and download the Tx pics, do some kiddo posting and also some conversation about our marriage quandary, "male post partum depression", economic recovery news and whether or not Scully and I should change our names. Oh yeah--also some type of salacious fruit image. Watch for it!

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