Random

There is a lot going on in the world but I am not tracking anything right now. Here are some random updates:

Khubz said Hamdillah for the first time. It came out more like "Ham-lil-ah" but she said it right after I sneezed (when I normally say 'hamdiallah') so I know what she meant.

Tita & Tata (Scully's parents) get here today and will be here through the weekend. We are also celebrating a very big day for Scully on Friday, though I can't blog about it because it would give too much away about our secret identities. :)

There's actually quite a bit that I've taken off-blog. We are doing well, though, (hamdillah)

Some fertile and some not

Some fertile and some not
Originally uploaded by Jon of SMA

Did you know that the fruit of the cactus has both fertile & infertile seeds?

What is going on in there???

Ouch (two versions)

Version 1: "Ouuuuch!" Followed by "Ouuuut. Outttttt."

As she pulls at the hard won pony tail.

And then there was the Ouch! Bwaahhhhh!

Followed by tears from Khubz & the mommy.

We were playing at music class (30 minutes of music, drums, rattles, songs & spastic toddlers running around) and my spastic toddler tripped on her feet and splat! Face first (lip first, as it turns out) onto the tile floor. Blood squirting everywhere (for real) panicky mommy, crying khubz, crying mommy and lots and lots of icecream were to follow. What a day!

Wondering

Juicy
Originally uploaded by Kalamakia

What is going on in there?

It is day 11 and I have been on the crazy-woman-juice for more than a week.

I was in the clinic on Monday. My estrodial levels were good. I had lots & lots of immature follicles (this is as it should be.) So I'm back in the clinic tomorrow for another peek.

My sister Kelly surprised me on Monday by showing up at the clinic! This was wonderful. She got to see my follicles & I got to see her. Excellent.

Less excellently, it is called crazy-woman-juice for a reason. Poor Sally, Joe and especially Scully held on for quite a ride last weekend. I think Khubz was largely spared.

So if I appear needy, self-absorbed, morose, disconnected, bitchy, weepy, somewhat manic, excitable, unpredictable or I seem like I'm under water. . . that's just how I'm feeling.

So hang on (or not)

But this is where we're at. Let's see what may flower & fruit?

follicle spotting

she once was
just as small
as this
but this was
never all she
was & now
she is the sum
of all the world
for me &
all that will ever be
for me is
changed by her
even when she
was as
small
as this
& i am
left to
wonder how
the world
may change
again &
again by one
beginning
as small
& possible
as this

a bit quiet

Sometimes I cover my hair because I just need a little privacy. Today is one of those days, even though I didn't bring my tarha/hijab.

Things are fine. Just feeling a bit quiet.

So I don't know that I'll be blogging much either. But here's a pic sent by my special lady friend.

Words Ink Breath Change

Move some words around
With your hands or your tongue or your mind

Leave a slip of poetry behind you at lunch
on top of the oranges at the store
mailed in with the bills
scrawled onto the outside of your child's diaper
slipped into the yellow pages
in between the stack of napkins at the coffee shop

She's been around the block, poetry,
Isn't waiting to be sacrificed or saved
& knows she'll be just fine

She worries more about the world
making it through each day
so bring her home
to meet your in-laws
or drop her off in
strange neighborhood

See what poetry might do

Good Idea. . . Bad Idea

Good Idea: Scully & I just taught Khubz to raise her fist in the air when we shout "revolution!"

Bad Idea: Binging on icecream because I'm anxious about not having gotten my period

Good Idea: Greeting poets all month long! Please go put some Lucille Clifton in your ears. You can thank me later.

Bad Idea: Continuing to eat my lunch at a minority health disparity conference after the lunchtime speaker said "The only threat to this country's national security that is greater than terrorism is. . . " (any guesses? You guessed!) "Obesity."

Good Idea: Leaning over to my friend and saying "I fuckin hate being a double threat." It's true. My sister reminded me that they'll never let me on the plane now.

Bad Idea: Making a move towards the carrot cake even as the woman continued

Good Idea: Scully & I had been having a text conversation all morning about which of us was having a harder day. After I sent her the above quote I got a very sweet "you win."

Bad Idea: Attending an ISM/anti-oppression workshop at that same conference where the speaker's main point was "well it (racism) goes both ways"

Good Idea: Getting up and leaving the workshop before my fucking head exploded. No it does not actually go both ways. NO it is not all about mean words & hurt feelings. It is actually about infant mortality rates and poverty and deportation and rape and who does/does not have a grocery store on their side of town and who can/cannot get onto the fucking bus which stops running at 7 anyway and whether Scully & Khubz & I are all safe together and it is not is NOT is NOTNOTNOT about whether some person of color said something mean to you when you were in 7th grade. Jesus! (as I said, very, very good idea to leave)

Excellent idea: Getting the girlchild in bed on time while she was still in a good mood and coming downstairs to do some writing.

Even more better excellent idea: I'm taking a poetry workshop later this month at the public library. By myself.

An additional very great idea: Khubz & I are going with some good friends on an AIDS walk (at toddler speed) on the 12th.

Also a quite stellar idea: Khubz & I are escaping to iowa this weekend. Scully will study her patootie off and we'll all get to play on Sunday (inshallah) when we get back.

Good for the earth though possibly a bit trying for me idea: I am carpooling with a work friend up to Iowa. She's lovely & I'm dropping her off at her niece's house (her niece who has baby goats that Khubz will love to see) but I'm quite used to making the drive with just me & my sleeping girlchild and my ipod, fully loaded with nerdy public radio shows. Still, how can you argue about carpooling?

Suheir Hammad

It is national poetry month. Chew on some poetry.

Go check out Suheir Hammad. You've seen her all over Def Poetry Jams.
Now go check her site out: http://www.suheirhammad.com/hi/poetry/poetry.html#

A-mazing.