Need to know basis

> I don't need to know who
> And I don't need to know why
> But I would like to know how long
>
> How long was the slice of processed cheese stuck to the outside of our screen door before someone noticed? It looked like it may have wintered there.
>
> Additionally, how long was it there after someone noticed? How long did it stick there, willfully ignored, in the hopes that someone else would defend the dignity of our backdoor?