Saturday, March 6, 2010

Learning Curve

The kiddos are sharing a room now. We switched to take the smaller room and the kids have the larger room. This is awesome because having a kid in the room (even one asleep in the crib) can put a damper on mommy-time. And I love playing with them in their room. It's not huge, obviously, but there is play space. And I don't get all "uptight/anal-retentive mommy" when there's a mess or if all the costumes are out of the costume box or whatever. Whew!

But bedtime is still a bit of a trick. Khubz is usually great at bedtime. We brush teeth, get on jammies, read a story (or two or three), pick a soft toy to sleep with and get our song. If she's having a hard time going to sleep we pick out a dream to have together. Her favorites right now is going to Mama & Mommy's wedding (she has seen pics of the mommies dressed like princesses--though mama is always Jasmine because she wears pants) where she gets to wear a fancy dress. She also likes to dream about being a flamingo and we bury our long pink head into our long pink feathers and tuck our long pink legs up so we can be warm in our nests. And we agree that we'll meet in our dream and do whatever pink flamingos do at lesbian weddings or whatever.

Thumper, on the other hand, would much rather sleep with the mommies. He will wake up and be sure that someone somewhere can hear his cries and if not, he will cry louder to ensure that someone somewhere will hear him and respond appropriately. In his perfect world this would mean being picked up by one of the mommies, brought to the living room and rocked until he falls asleep again. But the mommies have determined that this is unsustainable.

So our theory is that he will wake up, cry, get tired and eventually figure out how to get back to sleep. This is one of many things in life that someone else simply cannot do for you. He is obviously independent enough to climb up on the couch and blast off it like a rocket. He is independent enough to pull on the tablecloth until he has the salt shaker that he covets. He is independent enough to open up the diaper bag, take everything out until he finds the container of yogurt drops, pry it open and then stuff his cheeks like a hamster. He can figure this sleeping-business out.

He has an advocate, however, in his room that knows how to do things he cannot do. Get out of bed, open a closed door, petition one of the mommies directly even in the middle of the night. It goes like this.

Khubz goes to sleep around 7:30. Thumper about 10 minutes later. They sleep peacefully until 11 or 1 or 2 or 3:15. Thumper wakes up and begins his protest. Because he is in a cage he can only wail and hope that his advocate responds to his alarm.

Khubz, his advocate, wakes up and relays his distress to one of the mommies. She gets out of bed. Seeks us out in our room. Refuses to let us sleep through her message. "Thumper is awake. He needs someone to help him."

And this was cute. At first.

"Thumper needs to learn how to get to sleep. You can help him by getting back in bed, rolling over and showing him how to sleep. He needs to watch you sleep so he can learn."

This worked the first week.
No more.

"He's NOT LEARNING!!!!" she now protests, bleary-eyed herself. I think she is distressed by his crying but also a bit desperate to get to sleep herself. Sometimes we will hear her singing ABCD to him to try to soothe him. We have gone in the next morning and found his crib stuffed with soft toys (stuffed animals) that she provided to give him comfort. But most often we just let her get in bed with us so she can get some sleep. Awake, me or Scully will sit up just listening to him cry and agreeing that he is not learning.

It doesn't help that about once a week one of us will crack and just go get him for some rocking chair assistance.

At some point, we will have a kiddo room and a mommy room.
He will eventually learn. And at some point, so will we.

1 comment:

laurharr said...

"HE'S NOT LEARNING!" Hilarious. Good luck with that.